I was so close. Today started amazing. The weather was so nice, i had plans. Then some how i was motivated for life.. I wanted to start something for me. I really felt i could do it. I came home watchd a dvd, heard a sad song, i loved it. Never though it would come back to haunt me espicallly not so soon. I askd for help. I got it. I was so so ready. Then i playd that song. I.diidnt feel sad attall. Then you. You go show up. You just appear out of no where :( . That feeling through my body. I felt warm. Then you. So cold. My happy thought went. I felt oh this can only get worse. Its not fair. I shoudlint have to walk around hiding anymore. And its not even your fault. I just fucking hate life. When will this end?